Short-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

Short-term effects of an emotionally abusive husband or wife often have to do with the surprise of being in the situation or the questioning of just how the situation arose. Some emotional abusers don’t begin their abuse until well into a relationship. Husbands or wives may find themselves shocked to see the new, emotionally abusive behavior. The behavior and thoughts of the victim then change in response to the emotional abuse.

Short-term effects of emotional abuse include:

• Surprise and confusion
• Questioning of one’s own memory, “did that really happen?”
• Anxiety or fear; hypervigilance
• Shame or guilt
• Aggression (as a defense to the abuse)
• Becoming overly passive or compliant
• Frequent crying
• Avoidance of eye contact
• Feeling powerless and defeated as nothing you do ever seems to be right (learned helplessness)
• Feeling like you’re “walking on eggshells”
• Feeling manipulated, used and controlled
• Feeling undesirable

A partner may also find themselves trying to do anything possible to bring the relationship back to the way it was before the abuse.

Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

In long-term emotionally abusive situations, the victim has such low self-esteem that they often feel they cannot leave their abuser and that they are not worthy of a non-abusive relationship. Adult emotional abuse leads to the victim believing the terrible things that the abuser says about him/her. Emotional abuse victims often think they’re “going crazy.”

Effects of long-term emotional abuse by significant others, boyfriends or girlfriends include:

• Depression
• Withdrawal
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Emotional instability
• Sleep disturbances
• Physical pain without a cause
• Suicidal ideation, thoughts or attempts
• Extreme dependence on the abuser
• Underachievement
• Inability to trust
• Feeling trapped and alone
• Substance abuse

Stockholm Syndrome is also common in long-term abuse situations. In Stockholm Syndrome, the victim is so terrified of the abuser that the victim overly identifies and becomes bonded with the abuser in an attempt to stop the abuse. The victim will even defend their abuser and their emotionally abusive actions.

article references

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2021, December 17). Effects of Emotional Abuse on Adults, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, August 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/effects-of-emotional-abuse-on-adults

Last Updated: December 30, 2021

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD